


Insanity.

by Sueinthesky



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 23:36:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16464473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sueinthesky/pseuds/Sueinthesky
Summary: Suddenly you grow up, you change, in life. Sometimes we do not know why.But Jounouchi believes he knows the reason.And that reason is making him crazy.He needs a little time alone to figure everything out.





	Insanity.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Irateshipping week 2k18.  
> Mentions of underage drinking and smoking.
> 
> I tried. I'm sorry.

_"You will do everything I say._ _ Isn’t that right, little Jounouchi ?_ "  
  


He only had to close his eyes to hear that voice, to get poisoned by those words.  If someone had asked him, he would have been ready to answer that those moments had been a nightmare for him: losing control had been the most terrifying experience of his life, harming his friends while he was aware of everything, but unable to prevent it, had been the divine punishment for all his sins and now he had to inevitably redeem himself for new others. 

  
This was what he would have said, if someone had the curiosity to understand what it was like to be mentally controlled.   
In theory.   
The reality was very different.

There were certain days when Jounouchi lost his usual irreverent and sunny personality. Days when his friends could hardly recognize him, and Yugi did not let him go until he told him what was the matter. Jounouchi tried in every way to be alone, but could not even refuse so much affection. And so he had to endure afternoon trips to games rooms, ice-cream and coffee shops and, without be seen, to the convenience store where the older kids would buy them some cheap beers, even though Yugi was not too fond of the idea. How ironic it was that they could get those forbidden treats just thanks to him. There was no problem convincing their elder classmates to enter into the store, as in Domino respect was earned by dueling. It was at that point that Jounouchi tried to take advantage of the status of King of Games of his best friend, and without being seen asked for some more can. At that point he would say goodbye to his friends, the beers well hidden in the backpack, but would not go back home. He would not have wanted to face Shizuka , who already without sight could guess when something was wrong, imagine now that she was completely healed and could see clearly in the face of her brother the shadow of a deep malaise.

At that point it took only fifteen minutes, a few coins in his pocket, and the doors of a shabby Love Hotel would open for him. Without judgments, without questions. It was the cheapest, after all, and the only place where people carefully avoided human contact, if not specifically selected. No questions, no looks, no voices, except the unnerving robotic key distributor at the entrance. The absolute nothingness. Exactly what he needed after being forcibly surrounded by such positivity. 

Sometimes Jounouchi had to silently confront the demons that were growing inside him. And his mask was too thin to keep them all at bay. He needed something bigger and more intense, like ... like a huge blanket of darkness that could hide every worry, waiting for him to find a suitable solution to deal with it without the danger of falling into a pit of desperation even more intense, from the which would have been impossible to get out of.

He could not do otherwise. Modulating even the noise of his own breaths, he pressed the button to call the elevator. He stared at the floor, lighting one of the cigarettes stolen from the bullet of the section next to his, no matter the ban on the hotel and the recommendations of Yugi , not happy with the new vice of his best friend. He intended to live only one law that evening. 

His own.

And he wanted it to be the wrong law.  The worst of all.

The sound of the door closing behind him echoed in the Spartan room, furnished with the most horrible taste imaginable. The revolting pastel pink curtains tried to make the environment more lively, helped uselessly by the plum-colored duvet with printed hearts, straight out of the album of the drawings of an elementary schooler. Not exactly the best for romance. How did people get into those cubicles for sex ...?   
Maybe it was because Jounouchi was still too inexperienced, but he was not able to picture himself on that bed with someone. He sure had fantasized about his first time, but, above all ... with whom?   
Blowing a little smoke, he rummaged in the schoolbag he had thrown on a chair by the window to extract a cheap beer can. He found himself thinking, as he took the first sip.

Mai, for example?  
Yes, why not. Truth be told, it was obvious that he felt something for that girl. Mai was everything that could be desired in a woman: strong character, bewitching personality, and a breath-taking look.   
And then there was to say, perhaps because of affinity with his appearance, he liked blonde hair. Mai was a complete package, ready to satisfy him.

Yes, but ... the thought of squeezing her under the sheets, even not plum colored ones, for some reason did not tease him at all. He tried to imagine her there, in that room, barely dressed, asking him to join her, to put down that tin and make her feel like a woman ...   
...   
Nothing, not even a quick beat. Just a slight embarrassment for trying. Wasn't he in love with her?  Did he really like Mai at that point?   
Maybe he was simply not in the right mood.   
He allowed himself to fantasize a little more, even more ardently.   
Now Mai was completely undressed, and she was tightening her pillow with desire. She was literally begging him to take off his clothes, to get inside her, with the dirtiest words that the wild mind of a hormone-ridden teenager could think, trained by years and years of shoddy porn on the Internet.

...

Still nothing. Nothing that awakened the senses or the desire .   
He snorted, thinking that maybe it was not really the right evening, that he really did not want to think about sex at the moment. Perhaps he had matured, maybe things were different now that could really interest him, that could really excite him .   
Perhaps he wanted to find out more.   
He closed his eyes, thinking back to the events of recent times, looking for what could have changed him so profoundly that transformed him from a red bullet to a man waiting to escape from his adolescent skin . Well, there was the Battle City tournament ...   
Yes, something must have happened while he was busy saving the world by playing card games with Yugi and the Other Yugi . What, exactly?   
Once again he had feared for the health of his sister, with a trembling heart at the thought that such a young girl could risk not seeing the world again, that the most important person in his life could suffer like that. Those eyes were too innocent, but too curious, and still wanted to explore. And Shizuka deserved to be happy.   
He had met Espa Roba, and found that trusting his abilities and fighting for a purpose in life were the only things that would allow you to keep going even when you were destined to be a Mr. Nobody, and you have to push your way to demonstrate big guys - Kaiba, first - you do not need millions or succulent opportunities to be someone.   
Yes, but he dared to say that these things were almost nothing compared to his encounter with ...

"  _My name is_   _Namu_   _._   _Nice to meet you!"_

The cigarette was about to fall from his fingers, but he managed to get it back in time, at the price of a slight burn on his fingers. The beer, unfortunately, was not so lucky, and its contents spilled out on the poor carpet.   
He was not thinking about him again, did he?   
Why the hell could Jounouchi not get him out of his head?   
It was because of fear, of course. It was the only plausible explanation.   
Marik had brought him face to face with his nightmares. Behind that exotic and fascinating face was a merciless Charon who did not have any trouble dragging him to hell.   
Jounouchi could still feel him, strongly. His laugh, those flames on his skin. The tremendous and constant feeling of being one step away from death. Of not being able to save his friends.   
He had felt so threatened. So scared. So and so…

Excited.

Jounouchi had to deal with the truth: Marik's meeting had been the most electrifying turning point to his routine he could ever hope for.  
From their first meeting, when he still did not know what his real name was. Tightening that hand had been like a shock, like an access to an unknown world. Because he clearly remembered thinking it. "  _Oh, wow._   _He is cute…"_    
But he had to correct himself. No, he did not think he was just cute. Jounouchi kept staring at that faintly embarrassed face, and could only hide in front of Anzu and the others that he thought Namu was damn handsome. It was perhaps that skin, which seemed so soft. Perhaps it was that hair, who invited him to rub his fingers in golden. Maybe it was because of those eyes, so unusual, those hips that he wanted to grab to hold them to his, those clothes that revealed so much and so little and he would have wanted to rip them off and-   
  
Jounouchi stirred in his chair, uncomfortably. What was he saying? Did he really think that at the time?   
The first cigarette was over, and after throwing the stub in the now empty can, he immediately lit another. No, he was not sure. Now, at that moment, he was thinking about it. But at their meeting? What had he really thought?   
His mind jumped forward, bringing him back to the terrible moments Marik would bring him later. When he annihilated him from any individual will. It had been like being forced into a corner, and finding himself tied to his mercy.   
He could, of course, blame magic. Marik was quite skilled with those Egyptian devilries, and he found himself unprepared.   
And he certainly did not like having to fight Yugi, to the point of putting him in danger. He was his best friend. Hell, he could compare him to a brother. The very thought of threatening and blackmailing Yugi made him feel disgusting.   
But what had been there before ... did he like it?  
  
Tied on that chair.   
Marik in front of him.   
His murmurs, his hisses.   
He was wrapping around him like a snake, slow and threatening, and the coils tightened and squeezed, and Jounouchi remembered that he had felt complete,  _desired ..._

The fear, but also the heat that filled him completely.  
Feel Marik everywhere ...   
Those notes sung by that mellifluous voice in his ear, those hands that grazed his face and caressed him, to convince him to surrender to his magic, his eyes focused on those lips ...   
" _You'll_   _give up, little_   _Jounouchi_   _._   _You're mine, and you know it. "_

He had to interrupt that stream of thoughts, to look down, with a slight note of incredulity.  
Yes ... it was just as he feared.   
Judging from that familiar protuberance in the crotch of his trousers ...   
Mai did not have any effect on him. But Marik did.   
  
He jumped up, holding his head in his hands, and this time the cigarette met a tragic epilogue. If it did not degenerate angrily burning the whole hotel, it was only because Jounouchi stepped on it, trampling it angrily.   
How could he be aroused by thinking of Marik?   
Ok, maybe ... maybe those details were for him a novelty at the time. Maybe it was because everything was so new and intriguing, he had almost liked the idea of becoming a pawn in the hands of a madman.   
But Marik was, in fact, a madman. A maniac.   
Because behind that killer body and those eyes of a prey and a predator at the same time, the origin of the traumas of anyone who had the misfortune of meeting him was hiding.

Their duel had been something that made his knees tremble just thinking about it.  
He remembered how he had remained on thorns in those rare moments of silence, mesmerized by his madness, but waiting for any profanity those cruel lips could say.   
He remembered the chills that his laughter caused him, the rage of all his wickedness.   
No, he could not forgive him, of course.   
Marik had turned from an erotic dream to a kind of Rorschach spot of terror, where Jounouchi could see any of his fears and always have the certainty that Marik would have thrown them in his face with extreme gusto, yet even in those moments Jounouchi could think only one thing.   
_He was terrified._   _But never had he felt so alive._    
And every time he heard himself called "Little Jounouchi " he was not sure what  chill he was feeling.   
He just wanted Marik to hurt him.   
He was not sure it was just for stubbornness.   
Because at every lost Life Point, his nerves were whipped by something so intense to overcome every barrier of pain.   
And flow into pleasure.   
  
He was starting to sweat. He was sure he was going crazy.   
Perhaps Marik's magic had never left his head, and little by little, like a very slow poison, it was corrupting his mind.   
It had to be like that, because when he dared to turn back to that revolting bed, Mai was gone.   
In his place, dressed only in veils of darkness, there was Marik.   
  
It could perhaps be just a symptom of his mind now far from health, but he saw it very well. Marik was on those sheets, grinning, the moonlight his only companion in that night of atrocious doubts.   
Every part of his body was inviting him, but the most eloquent was his finger, which opened and closed in his direction, inviting him to join that concert of shadows. 

_ "Come to me, little _   _Jounouchi_   _..."_

He should have been worried about why he was looking at him so clearly.  
He should have been worried if what he was seeing was fantasy or reality.   
But by now Jounouchi had taken for granted that he was drunk, or crazy, or maybe both, and began to slip off his jacket and then his shirt, throwing both on the floor, his own eyes slave for Marik, who did not even need to ask.   
So, he knew, Marik had already gotten what he wanted.   
  
He left his trousers on, approaching with caution, as if he feared that the hallucination could be frightened by a sudden movement.   
Instead, Marik kept giggling, and if he backed away it was just to make room for him in bed. Jounouchi realized that Marik was exactly like the one who had kept him company in so many dreams he had removed: naked, but not defenseless. At his disposal, but not at his will.   
He straddled the bed, and he could feel that delicate and firm hand at the same time brush against his chin, inviting him even more towards sin.   
_"What do you want from me?"_  He asked, with that smile and those pretty and merciless eyes, as he clung to himself, playing only with a feigned shyness.   
  


Jounouchi accepted the invitation.  
A little danger had never stopped him before, right?   
And what were pain and shame, in front of that spectacle?   
He stretched his face to his, just wavering, as if to ask permission.   
But the burning desire that gripped him was certainly not going to wait too much: in a short time, his lips were caressing those of Marik, who put his hands on his uncovered and sensitive chest, caressing and giving him such thrills that convinced him to kiss more those lips, to explore him more, to push him against the headboard of the bed as if he was a masterpiece worth hanging on the wall.   
Marik tasted like danger and masochistic thrills. He tasted like everything that was forbidden to him, and to his image of good guy.   
And sometimes he was so sick of being a good guy.   
Sometimes he wanted to be like that bastard who almost sentenced his friends to death .   
... did he want it? But what was he thinking ...   
Not even the time to have a rethink and just backward, that the hands of Marik grabbed him, eager and arrogant, leaving their red marks on his white skin, so strong that Jounouchi feared him wanting to rip him.   
_"What's wrong with you?_   _Come back to me."_

Jounouchi really wanted to abandon the ship, which was going straight on a route to disaster, but Marik would not let him do it. He wanted him to sink into that abyss of perversion with him, he wanted to steal every single crumb of innocence and lick it away, as he was doing at that moment on his neck, procuring him more shivers and Jounouchi’s grunts were so bizarre that they did not seem to come from his own voice. Oh, god, he was going crazy. He had never imagined his first time like that. It was all a surprise, one after the other, and God could damn him, he felt so damn good to be at the mercy of that madness ...   
He also freed his pants because Marik, as the spoiled and arrogant brat he was, did not want to help him undress. No, but on the other hand he was enjoying the show, licking his lips. Jounouchi could not help feeling vaguely proud of being there causing him such a desire ...   
Marik's authoritarian hands immediately approached the target, caressing his erection with little delicacy, with the sole purpose of making him moan louder, to make him scream his name with desire.   
-A-ah! Marik, slowly ...!   
"  _You do not tell me what to do._   _You are mine."_    
Jounouchi knew how to disobey, how to turn orders, how to rebel.   
He knew it very well.   
Only, he did not want to.

…did he?  
Of course he wanted to.   
It did not have to happen, it was not right, it could not ...!   
  
Marik nibbled at his neck, like a vampire eager to suck away every single resistance from the blood.   
"  _How dare you resist me?"_

Jounouchi was forced to stay closer to him , this time, while Marik pulled him over, clutching his waist with his legs, moving his hips in the most vulgar and perverse way that Jounouchi had ever seen, touching his erection with his own.    
"  _Take me._   _I know you want it. "_

Damn, nothing could be hidden from Marik.  
On the other hand, what could Jounouchi do ?   
He belonged to him, he knew it all too well.   
  
He did not believe he would ever have felt something similar in his life. He found himself stifling a scream of pleasure as he entered the boy, clenching his thin hips, feeling pain to those scratches on his back, caressing his scars, while Marik grumbled under him like a whore, whispering his name and breathing hard.

If it was a dream, it was the best he had ever had and he wanted to die in his sleep. He began to push hard, both because an animal instinct had taken possession of him and because Marik was ordering him, between a moan and another.   
Jounouchi pushed and slammed, violent, enjoying every single thrill that frantic clutch was causing him, intoxicating himself with that mischievous and excited look beneath him, those hands that marked their passage wherever they touched, those moans that seemed more and more like his name, in an escalation of perverse sounds.   
Marik kept trembling beneath him, moving at his own pace, and Jounouchi thought he was losing control when he saw him touching himself, grumbling his name with such a desire that he was sure, he would have come on the spot.   
But he managed to resist, although he was so close that it hurt ...   
"  _Come._   _Come for me, little_   _Jounouchi_   _._   _I want to feel you inside me ... "_

And even to that order, he could not resist.  
With last powerful thrusts, Jounouchi stopped suddenly, releasing with an excited cry all the tension accumulated up to that moment, arching his back, closing his eyes to feel on his tongue all the flavors of those shivers ...   
When he opened them, Marik was gone.

Only the moonlight on the pillows.  
Only its confusion, only the dirty sheets.   
Only his hand.   
  
Jounouchi stood up on the unmade bed, panting, staring at his stained fingers in panic , full of shame.   
But what had happened?   
He could have sworn he was not alone in that room. He would have undergone a whole process in his mind, with all his certainties ready to judge him, and  _badly,_  but he would nevertheless have asserted that Marik was under him until a few seconds ago, to deprive him of the little innocence that had remained in him.   
But, there was only silence.   
And a great shame.   
And the awareness that little by little, he was going crazy.

He stretched out on that altar of sin, too busy with post-orgasm and confusion to think of something else.  
Had it been a dream? An erotic fantasy gone too far?   
But he was sure he had felt everything for real, every single thing.

It had been tangible.  
He could still feel Marik's breath, his lips, if only he closed his eyes ...   
  
But he was too tired to think about it. He was too emptied, his body satisfied and heavy but his mind too scared and fearful , to be able to think of something else.   
 

He laid down for what seemed like hours, staring at the ceiling, without asking questions.  
Instead he realized, counting the ticking of a clock that only then realized it was in the room, that only a few seconds had passed.   
And his cell phone started to ring.   
Normally, he would let it go, convinced that it was just Shizuka who wanted to know where the hell he had hurled himself, or Yugi , who wanted to say goodnight.   
Imagine his surprise, when on the display too bright for that dark room, he saw an unknown number.

  
He had never seen that sequence in his life, yet for some reason it seemed like a code for a sentence he was not ready for.   
 

He tapped to accept the call, and brought the phone to his ear, slowly, holding his breath.  
  
-Hello…?

Terrifying moments of silence followed.    
And then a laugh. 

A chilling, evil laugh.  
He could feel it first in his head, and then on the other side of the phone ...   
-  _Well done, little_   _Jounouchi_   _._


End file.
